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Some Suggestions For Healing Abandonment

I was shocked when my daughter has rest her arms around me. I can feel her rounded belly with the motherly curves. At that time she was having brown soft eyes and giving me signals that she is expecting.

She has having a baby girl in her belly who is going to be named after me; as Joy. Joy is going to be my first granddaughter and the second grandchild.

My name was given be my great grandmother; Blanche. She was the mother of my grandmother Lulu. My grandmother had spent most of her childhood period at the Blanche’s home.

Lulu abandoned her own daughter, Josephine when she was a young woman. The history repeated itself and I was abandoned by my mother; Josephine when I was only four years old. What a heritage my family has! 

I can see the same images in my daughter’s eye as I use to visualize in my foremother’s eyes. She was quite beautiful and intelligent but, though she was very insensitive and has courage to break the rules set by my grandmother. I can never forget that day when my mother and grandmother had a terrible fight. They had broken the dishes.

My grandmother never forgave my mother; even when she came to say last goodbye to her when she was lying in her deathbed. There was no forgiveness between both of them. I always try to win heart of my mother and tried till her last breath and she always wanted to hide that she is having any child.

I never wanted to be the part of this tradition and I never want to abandon my own daughter. Yet, the fact is I am also carrying the same genes of the family and I can never forget those memories of being abandoned by my mother.

I feel proud to be the last witness of this abandonment heritage and my daughter and I will be the first mother daughter who will be having the healthy relationship. We will be laughing together, hugging and kissing, talk over the disagreements, waiting for approvals, forgiving each others, apologizing for the mistakes and will have long loving relationship. I always feel pride for having such life.

My grandmother and mother never wanted to have their grandchild and they always use to say that they will not welcome my children in the family. When they heard that I was expecting they were too secretive and never wanted to share it with the world.

My grandmother even tried to give poison to my daughter and at that movement I realize that how brutal she is and she has become heartless. I tried for years that she will accept me and my daughter; but I was forced to accept that she will never do so.

She was used to teach my child to say lie to the people about her identity. This was unbearable situation for me and I never wanted my child to bear all such things in her life.

Another fact of my life was when my grandmother received the news of my birth. She literally threw that telegram and welcomed me by saying that the brat has finally born.

When my mother abandoned me she brought me up with the brutal heart. I roused by having feeling of being living on the edge of familial and societal acceptance and this feeling has settled deep in my bones.

I am a clear picture of mother child abandonment relationship. I am one case of this issue. The fact is that there are thousands of cases who are being victimized with the same situation and their mothers have abandoned their existence. 

Don’t Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother Daughter Abandonment is my biography which I have specially written to bring forward the special issue toward the world and making them realize that how much it hurts when a mother abandon  her child.

The loneliness and the loss which a child has to face are explained from each act and people read that story with the tears in their eyes.

When people come at my home after reading this narration; they feel sorry for me and appreciate me for my efforts for making me and my daughter’s life pleasant. I can easily feel the loneliness of their childhood losses when they were left by their parents.

They feel that as they have been healed by reading another story of same brutal act. I always smile and feel pride that my story has motivated many people for having the courage to fight against this situation and enjoy their lives despite of the deep wounds of their early childhood.

Here are some suggestions for those people who have been through same circumstances as I was:

Healing Abandonment

1. Always remind yourself the following mentioned things:

a. It was not your fault at all.
b. You were not a bad kid.
c. It is the lack of your mother that she could not understand your feeling as a child.
d. You truly deserve love of your family

2. Try to create joy and beauty in your current life by:

a. Gather round supportive friends and those who love you.
b. Entertain yourself with good food and well treat your body.
c. Give yourself an opportunity to enjoy your birthday parties and other celebrating moments.
d. Realize the importance of each day as it unfolds.
e. Try to create your own family by having friends and child.

3. Try to find those people who can heal your wounds. Like for instance:

a. Write your story and let others to share their view point.
b. Find the therapist who can help you out in removing the affects of past.  
c. Demonstrate your written biography by the pictures and family photos.  
d. It is always better to research about your mother’s past as this will give you the reason that why your mother has acted such with you.

4. Use meditation, visualization and prayer for getting out of such life and getting close to blessed life.

a. Read inspiring books that raise the feelings of love.
b. Each day meditate for at least 10 minutes.
c. Share the story with others and let them know how you are healing your life.